maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
