Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
