9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
