So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my shit smells like andre
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
