No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
