So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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