Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
