Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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