The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
