So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
