Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
