So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drunk is not a location!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize