I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he thought i was a dude.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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