question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
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