I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
