haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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