nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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