very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
