I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
