Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
