JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
