well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
