what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
