she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
