Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
