And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
