I hope mine doesn't look like that
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
