Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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