IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
