You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
whose ass print is on the piano?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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