She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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