everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
