Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
