Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
