I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
