i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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