ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
