i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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