Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
