I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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