Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
