I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So vagazzling was a success
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize