No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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