Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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