That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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