i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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