drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize