so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
