Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
