i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it was like eating out sand paper
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
