Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
