Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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