So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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