I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
