I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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