I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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