Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
