Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
