Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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