Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
