Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
