and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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