I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
