it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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