I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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