are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
