Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
